I’ve done this a few times. When the wave of relief hits as another tortuous season finally ends, I look ahead to next season and which of our useless bunch of misfits deserves to stay and which should be… terminated.
Admittedly I don’t really know as much about the players as I should now I live 10,000 miles away but oh well, that’s not stopped me casting judgement before.
- Marco Silvestri OUT – Capable of winning us games. Capable of single-handedly throwing them away. I’d prefer a new keeper.
- Ross Turnbull IN – One year left. Keep him as back-up and an experienced head.
- Bailey Peacock-Farrell IN – Looks and sounds promising. Give him cup games next season.
- Eric Grimes OUT -Not sure he’s going to make it. Can see him being released.
- Gaetano Berardi IN – Keep! He’s actually ended up being good. Completely mad but good.
- Charlie Taylor IN – Sign up to a long contract on good terms and do whatever we can to keep him happy.
- Lewie Coyle IN – Keep him. Cup games and squad rotation.
- Scott Wootton OUT – Originally I was going to say we should pay Accrington Stanley to take him off our hands but since it was revealed a total stuff up with his contract extension means he’s off this year not next.
- Ross Killock OUT – Not sure he’ll make it. Released to League Two.
- Sol Bamba IN sort of – Keep until contract expires.
- Liam Cooper IN – Keep around. Could stay at captain but would prefer him as a vice-captain. Find him a good centre back partner and invest time and coaching in them working together.
- Giuseppe Bellusci TERMINATE MERCILESSLY – Drop him in the sea.
- Lewis Cook IN – Long contract, big money. Assurances about the future. Captain and the number 4 shirt please.
- Alex Mowatt IN – Keep. Not sure he’ll start but would like to see him get good game time.
- Liam Bridcutt IN – Sign. Sign. Sign.
- Tom Adeyemi OUT – Bye bye.
- Toumani Diagouraga IN – Yep, he plays for us. Guess he’ll still be around.
- Mustapha Carayol MEH – Suppose we should make a decision on whether to sign him. Would prefer us to get a slightly better winger but can see him being the only really viable option.
- Luke Murphy IN – Doesn’t seem like he’ll be the player we want him to be but fantastic player to have on the bench.
- Stuart Dallas IN – Keep. One of the best players this season. Just need someone on the other flank.
- Jordan Botaka MEH – Would love his development to follow the Max Gradel trajectory but fear it might be more of the Sanchez Watt trajectory.
- Casper Sloth OUT – Hasn’t worked out. See you later.
- Kalvin Phillips IN – Keep around. Time off the bench and cup games.
- Ronaldo Vieira – Worth it for the name alone. Imagine the shirt sales if he’s actually good.
- Tommaso Bianchi OUT – Ciao!
- Chris Wood IN – Keep just because we paid too much for him. Get him shooting practice.
- Mirco Antenucci OUT – He’s on his way.
- Eoghan Stokes IN – Not a clue. Sounds good though. Season in reserves/U21s.
- Lee Erwin LOAN OUT – To League One or Scottish Premier.
- Souleymane Doukara OUT (of an aeroplane window) – He can go in the sea and all.
- Robbie McDaid IN – Meant to be great. Would like to see him get some game time off the bench.
- Frankie Mulhern IN – See Eoghan Stokes.
- Goalkeeper – Consistency please.
- Central defender – Someone consistent and reliable. They don’t have to be Franco Baresi but just someone who’s not going to throw away points.
- Winger – Pace and decision making. That’ll make them expensive. But we seriously need one and have done since Snodgrass left.
- Striker – This is going to be the fastest way to get us up the league. If we can get someone who can bang in goals semi-regularly, it’s going to be the best bet of getting us into the play-offs.
- Bonus: Another centre midfielder – Would be nice to have someone a little bit experienced, a consistent performer who can pick up the slack when the youngsters drop off in form.
- A NEW OWNER AND MANAGER BUT MOSTLY JUST A NEW OWNER!!
I’m sure that shopping list is completely realistic.
Hopefully there are a few surprises coming up from the youth squad. Otherwise, I just don’t see how we’re going to get anywhere any time soon.